Two geese stood on the precipice of an iceberg in the Arctic Circle, soon to depart to the sunny and tropical Florida Keys. They were about to take off when a blizzard tore through the frigid landscape. The birds took shelter under two large rocks.
“If this storm doesn’t end soon, we won’t make it to the Keys!” cried the first goose.
The second goose pondered for a moment. “Perhaps our delay will provide a path to a serendipitous end.”
“No. I want to go to the Keys. It is Key West or bust. I have had this migration marked on my calendar since last March, and now, to no fault of my own, everything is ruined,” whined the first goose. “I was punished by pure circumstance.”
“What is circumstance if not fate’s agnostic epithet?” asked the second goose.
“Shut the fuck up, Walt Whitman,” said the first goose. “This is bullshit. I had my travel plans sorted and my suitcase packed. I already took my Dramamine! Do you know how difficult it is for a goose to acquire Dramamine? You know what? Fuck this.” The first goose waddled away, defeated.
A day later, the blizzard tapered down. The second goose filled his bag with twigs and pebbles and departed alone. The first goose was correct that they could not reach Key West. Yet even a halved journey has a destination.
This destination was Branson, an Ozark tourist destination in southwest Missouri. A rather unfortunate outcome, sure, but the second goose made the most of it. He spent his first day riding coasters at Silver Dollar City, and afterward, he reenacted the “I’m flying!” scene with a pretty goose named Jane at the Titanic Museum. He did not understand why there was a Titanic museum in landlocked Missouri but he realized there were some questions that a simple goose could not answer. At the end of the night, Jane gave him her number. After their first date at the local Red Lobster, the second goose realized that while they got along well, they looked for different things in a relationship. Jane and the second goose remained good friends and still send each other dainty postcards to this day.
The first goose froze to death.
